Amanda Explains It All: Quotes... That are Awesome

So this post is pretty much going to be all about me, not gonna lie. I don't normally just sit around and brag about myself, but I'm going to right now. Cause I can. So me and Allison have some pretty amazing Quotes together, and I thought it would be fun to just put them all up here, and there will probably be some amazing ones, with other people that I like too. Like my roommates. Or Other friends. Cause I generally like people.
So Here It Goes

Amanda: "I was hoping to use your illness for my benefit."

Amanda: "You're speaking in riddles, Eugene. That's not actually a quote. I just added Eugene to make it funny."

Allison: "We ate a whole pizza!"
Amanda: "No, we didn't. It's dispersed among the other pizzas. How pathetic. We can't even eat a whole medium pizza."
Allison: "Well, you weren't hungry, and I'm sick. What do you expect?"
Amanda: "Sorry I failed as the chubby friend in this relationship." Amanda reading Rachel Jane's blog: "I love my life because I work with austic preschoolers."

Amanda: "Go to bed." Allison: "In a second. I have to chew out my friend first." Amanda: "Why don't you just tell him goodbye?" Allison: "You mean tonight or for forever?" Amanda: "Pick one."

Allison: "I would totally go on a date with my husband." Amanda: "You should. He was way cute."

Amanda: "We caught a tarantula once. But it died. Actually, it exploded."

Allison: "You can describe him as my Jacob. I know that's weird, but it's the same exact situation."
Amanda: "So he's going to fall in love with your mutant baby? Weird. Let me know how that works out."
Allison: "lol!!!!!! No! I mean in New Moon Jacob, gosh."
Amanda: "Oh, so your second love. I see."
Allison: "No. I don't love him. That's Eclipse."

Amanda: "Do you still have a cold sore?"
Allison: "Yeah but it's almost gone."
Amanda: "If my husband has cold sores, I'll be really sad because I'll get cold sores."
Allison: "Well, you could just not kiss him for two weeks."
Amanda: "Or kiss him everywhere else..."
Allison: "Amanda!"
Amanda: "What, we're married! We're allowed to do that!"

Allison- HOLLA Shout out to my homie Amanda!!! Yo.

Amanda: "I know whats up. I stalk. I was about to say that rhymes, but it doesn't."

Amanda: "People who read your blog probably think your friend Amanda is so retarded."

Amanda: "I've been attracted to objects before in dreams."
Allison: "Like what?"
Amanda: "Like a robot."

Allison: "Well my friend, we are broke, single, and bored. What else is there to live for? Let's jump off a bridge."
Amanda: "dang I was gonna answer your question with witty repartee, and then you added the bridge thing so it wouldn’t' work anymore."
Allison: "Oh. Sorry to ruin your witty remarks."

Amanda: "haha i know I’m just awesome like that, i'm like everyone’s piece of furniture in their house."
Allison: "that kinda doesn't make sense, but it's funny because i'm only half awake."

Allison: "How many times did you just say the word 'sex'?"
Amanda: "Not enough."

Amanda: "i can't believe colin firth is gay, stupid."
Allison: "he is?"
Amanda: "in the movie."
Allison: "Oh. I was like, he is not! Nooooo!!!!"
Amanda: "haha... sorry didn't mean to scare you."

Amanda: "I'm going to do self portraits of people."

Amanda: "I did not push that button you sizey crayko phone."

Amanda and Allison Quoting Juno "I am a Crakin' from the sea!" "Fuket Thailand!" "Geez, Banana, shut your freakin' gob!"

Amanda: "I'm just talking mushrooms."

Amanda: "I think I put too much of your only spice in it."
Allison: "What's my only spice?"
Amanda: "Onion salt."
Allison: "Oh, crap."

Allison: About MSN messenger when I lost my voice: "I like this form of communication. You can understand me."
Amanda: "or at least hear at a level not only heard by dongs."

Amanda: "I can't breathe"
Ty: "Maybe you need to drink some water."
Wistie: "Yeah, just drink some water."
Amanda: "It's in my lungs, not my stomach!"

Amanda: "How do you make bread suggestive?"
Allison: "I can make anything sound suggestive."
Amanda: "Is your loaf pull-apart?"
Allison: "Wow. That was lame."

Other Suggestive Bread Phrases
"You should toast that now."

"I'll stick two pieces of mine in yours"

"Do you want me to butter yours?"

"Yeast makes bread rise. You wanna know what makes me rise?"

"Would you like to be involved in MY Great Harvest?"

Lame suggestive phrases:
"You could have a net weight of two pounds."

"Put your thiamine next to mine"

"Mmm. Crunchy."

Allison: "Can you imagine me in a strip club?"
Amanda: "Uh huh."