Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Best Profile Ever

So I know I posted this before, but I came across it again! I can't help but share with people who are new to this blog or never read it the first time around! I recently rejoined the world of online dating, and so far I have found some real winners. This one however takes the cake. Please read the whole thing, you will not regret it. It's his online profile. PS- I looked up Brony, you will benefit from doing so as well.


My self-summary:
If you've never used Dial-up, you're probably too young.

I am a Polyamorous , married man currently looking to expand my family. No, I'm not looking for a relationship on the side or in secret, any woman I would be involved with would meet my wife. Any Woman I become serious with should expect equal standing with my wife, and will not be brushed off for some petty "oh, she's just the girlfriend" or "she's not my FIRST wife..." I believe that if you're worth being with, then you're worth treating as an equal.

I am also obsessive about cooking , I love spending time in the kitchen. I will never be the cook my mother is, however this has yet to interfere with my attempts, and has simply resulted in my knowing a wider range of recipes. Seriously, I have a half dozen different ways to make a pizza, and I don't mean toppings.

Outside of the Kitchen, I am the modern jack of all trades. I have pursued majors in Drafting and Design, Automotive Technology, Computer and Electrical Engineering, Software Development, and almost went into Radiology. I had a very brief stint in the Navy before being separated for Anxiety and ADHD, and recently attained my CDL. I am out of town a lot, so if you have a compulsive desire to see me every single day, you may want to look elsewhere. My Wife and girlfriend don't see me every day, it's just not possible unless you come out on the road with me all the time. Which, no, not happening.

I have been diagnosed with social phobia, just as a warning. When meeting new people I seem a bit withdrawn or disinterested, that's really not the case, you probably just scare the shit out of me >.< Give me time, let me get to know you, and I'll open up easily enough.

What I’m doing with my life:
I am a Commercial Motor Vehicle(18 wheeler) operator for now until I can save up enough to pursue my real dream, an Architectural license.

I’m really good at:
Just about everything, really. I am a computer geek(I have built every computer I've used since I was 13), I enjoy working with wood(I built some of my furniture myself), I have restored several classic vehicles, and can do most repairs on modern vehicles, as well. I am a modern jack of all trades.

I also love cooking, especially when it comes to making up massive meals for people. We love having people over, and we always put out a massive spread for our guests. Last time we had guests, it was just one person, but we made up a four course meal plus dessert, anyway. You like good food? Drop by. We will spoil you.

Something I'm looking at getting in to is metal work, like armor crafting and such. I already know how to do auto body repair, welding and painting, so it really isn't that big of a leap in what I know, just application. My goal is to have sufficient ability that by the time my Wife and I renew our vows, we can do it in full plate armor.

The first things people usually notice about me:
My freakish Height. I'm 6'6", which kind of makes me stick out in a crowd. I also have long hair, which I take great care of(I was recently informed that, over dinner, the person I was speaking to was fighting the urge to play with it). I have a very deep voice(deep sexy voice, my wife insists), so that is usually very noticeable, as well. I also apparently have a tendency to look pissed off when I'm lost in thought, which, when coupled with the fact that I swear like a sailor, gives some the impression that I am a violent person. I'm not, really, I'm a big cuddly teddy bear. That just happens to swear like a drunken sailor. *ahem* moving on...

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food:
Favorite books would be pretty much anything and everything written by Jim Butcher, specifically the Dresden series. I'm also a fan of Anne Bishop and Brandon Sanderson, though I'm always interested in picking up new series.

I don't watch much TV(I don't even own one), but I do watch a few series here and there when they are available on either Netflix or Hulu. I'm currently going through the last season of Bones(with the odd trait of only ever watching it while eating), and I try and get The Big Bang Theory when it runs. I also just got hold of the soundtrack for the Book of Mormon musical, and hot damn. Very amusing, and as I understand it is planned to go on a national tour in 2012. I am certain it will play in Utah(It has to!), and I cannot wait to see it.

My music tastes include Techno and Metal, Though I have an odd taste for the occasional show tune(Rent, Book of Mormon, Spamalot, Once more with feeling and most importantly, Dr Horrible's Sing along Blog). I have learned a great deal of respect for the Whedons and the music they have put out in their musicals, and if you haven't been introduced to Dr. Horrible's Sing-along-blog yet, I highly advise it. At least expect to be pushed into watching it constantly if we ever become friends.

My food preferences are all over the place. I like meat, and I like spicy. I'm constantly tweaking my recipe's, and doing new things with them(I have tweaked my mothers enchiladas recipe to the point that they can no longer really be considered enchiladas - my old roomate thought it was some weird mexican quiche, but he loved it).

The six things I could never do without:
Pointless lists about necessities that actually aren't.

Also, sarcastic cynicism.

I spend a lot of time thinking about:
How the hell I got onto my latest train of thought. Seriously, my mind bothers me sometimes. I'll start thinking of the most esoteric crap, and have to stop all of a sudden and try and figure out WHY I'm thinking about it in the first place.

I have an extremely creative mindset, and unfortunately, I lack all of the necessary skills required to put them to use. I like to make mental drawings of a desk or other piece of furniture I'm wanting to make, the cuts I need, what color and finish, everything. I am highly skilled at whatever I put my mind to, I do woodworking whenever possible(though unfortunately, my drill decided to die on me, and I cannot afford to replace it right now).

I love too cook and bake, and I rarely go by recipes. This has the effect of making every dish a make new, and still taste delicious. I try and make everything I can completely from scratch, whenever possible. This makes some projects take a significant amount of time. I'm not kidding, it takes several days for me to make a cheesecake. But when I make it, I suddenly have massive amounts of people that find me very interesting all of a sudden.

On a typical Friday night I am:
Wondering why it is that everyone I know works on the nights I have off. 'Tis truly irritating. So I'm likely cleaning or baking.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit:
I'm a cuddle slut. I'm a 6'6" Trucker ex military mechanic, who can't get enough snuggles. Really, pulling someone important to you close and holding them all night...there is no better feeling in the world ^_^

Also, I'm a Brony. If you know what that is, awesome. If not, that's still okay.


3 comments:

Allie said...

The gifs you added made it

Michaelanne said...

double you oh double you

Teddy said...

Oh Amanda. How did I JUST find your blog? hahahha I already love it. This was one of my fave highlights:

"My goal is to have sufficient ability that by the time my Wife and I renew our vows, we can do it in full plate armor."

Good luck with the online dating thing. I've never tried but this post makes me not want to haha